Tifa's Seventh Heaven
by bleueyz
Summary: An insight into the daily lives of Tifa and Yuffie as they try to avoid the psychos, drunks, and turks they have to deal with. Cloti. Yuffentine. Discontinued unless someone can convince me otherwise.
1. Insight

_**Insight**_

_**-**_

**An instance of apprehending the true nature of a thing, esp. through intuitive understanding.**

_A/N: Here it is, welcome to the crazy hectic days of working in a bar. Pairings are Cloti and Yuffentine, but, there won't really be much of Vincent or Cloud in this story. It's all about Tifa, and Yuffie… and the bar. Demon children shall play a major role also._

"Uh…Yuffie?"

"Yeah, Tifa?!"

"How about I take care of Table nine instead."

"…why?"

"I hate to say it, but I hoped there wouldn't be any murders in my new bar…"

"Psh, Vince isn't going to shoot Ren- "

"Oh my god…" She says.

"Vince… Vin-Vin… Broody… put the gun down. Alright? With that freak hearing of yours, you probably heard Tifa… right? No murdering of Turkeys today alright? If you really want to kill him, take it outside."

"Awe, I'm hurt babe. You're just gonna let your boyfriend kill me…"

"Reno. Shut up."

_A/N: This is a preview, not an actual chapter, if you'd enjoy the idea of this story, please review! Instead of phrases, this time it will be based off of words._


	2. Cavort

_**Cavort**_

_**-**_

_**1.** To bound or prance about.  
**2.** To have lively or boisterous fun; to behave in a high-spirited, festive manner._

"It's been pretty quiet today, huh?"

"Yeah, that just means Turkey and his friends are bound to be stopping by."

"And you're making this assumption from?"

"The movie the butterfly effect."

"What? Yuffie, that makes no sense."

"Oh what did I tell you. Here comes Turkey now."

"Hello… Ladies."

"Wow, dramatic pause anyone?"

"Who asked you plank?"

"What did you just call me?!"

"You heard me."

"Oh, I don't know what I should be angrier about, the fact that you were checking me out, or the fact that you said I have no boobs or a butt. Gyah! I'm going to go take care of Table 11, he's all yours, Tifa."

"Soo, how's the boyfriend, yo?"

"Wow."

"Wow, what?"

"…She's prancing."

"So?"

"That means someone's going to get shot."

"Valentine protective over his little squirt, yo? Hey, you never answered my question about spike…"

"1) he's not my boyfriend. 2) Why do you care?"  
"I like to keep tabs on all the beautiful girls I know, babe."

"So that's why you come in here everyday, and I thought you liked the beer…"

"Of course I do, Babe. Your pretty face just makes it better tasting."

"…"

"What?"

"Hi, Cloud! Welcome home."

"Shit."


	3. Prolix

**Prolix**** \pro-LIKS; PRO-liks\, **_**adjective**_

**Extending to a great length; unnecessarily long; wordy.  
****2.**** Tending to speak or write at excessive length.**

"Gawd, I wish Vinnie would actually say something every once in a while…"

"mhm…"

"I mean, he's terrible! Even Cloud says more than him!"

"I suppose he could afford to me prolix with his talking."

"Tifa… what the hell does licks have to do with Vince being a part-time mute?"

"It's a word, babe. Go look it up in the dictionary."

"Ack! Reno, go to work you alcoholic."

"Ouch, you wound me. I can't stay around and have a drink?"

"No."

"That was kind of weird, yo. With you two being all synchronized and all."

"That's not all that's going to be creepy if you don't get out of here and go to work…"

"But-"

"Am I going to have to call Cloud?"

"..."

"I don't think I've ever seen him leave so fast!"

"Eh, he still has the bruises Cloud gave him last time I think."

"…and you'd know that because, Tifa?"

"He was limping."

"Now that you mention it…"


	4. Brusque

**Brusque**

–_adjective_

abrupt in manner; blunt; rough

"Tifa… I remember the first time I met you…"

"Yuffie-"

"I thought you were a Porn star. No wait, it was hooker. Either that or one of those girls that wrestle in the mud and stuff."

"Yuffie, want to know what I thought of you?"

"Yeah sure."

"I thought you were a klepto. And that's exactly why it's Tifa's Seventh Heaven, and not Tifa and Yuffie's Seventh Heaven."

"Awe come on, if I was working at McDonald's I'd be a freaking Manager by now! You were the one who told me I should be more honest!"


	5. Termagant

Termagant \TUR-muh-guhnt\, _noun_:

**1.** A scolding, nagging, bad-tempered woman; a shrew.  
**2.** Overbearing; shrewish; scolding.

"Are you done being annoying?"

"Are you done nagging me to stop being annoying?"

"No."

"Well neither am I!"

"Yuffie…"

"Dotdotdot."

"You know you can't do that around the kids."

"It was just a couple gil that I lifted off of Cloud."

"You're going to be a bad influence. All that stealing! Do you do anything else?!"

"Of course I do! I peer pressure Vince into stealing for me, I make fun of Cloud and I help the demon children with their homework."

"Wait… you peer pressured Vincent Valentine into stealing for you?"

"Shop lifting actually, but same difference."

"You are such a terrible person! This is exactly why you can't steal around the kids."

"Sorry Mrs. Naggy Mc Nag Strife, but I'm a ninja. Those kids understand that I'm a ninja, and I tell them, unless they are going to become ninjas, that they can't steal."

"Yuffie… why are you like this? Can't you just be content with life? You always have to be doing something… you're like the energizer bunny you just keep going and going."

"and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going… eh… sorry."

"And you have the attention span of a kitchen sink."

"Hey! I resent that… ohh a materia!"

"…my point exactly."

"Well… you're a Termagant, I'm out of here!"

"Yuffie, Wait…"

"Hey, Cloud… you better watch, she's not a women… she's the terminator!"

"…Isn't that a movie quote?"

"Well… shut up!"


	6. Celerity

celerity \suh-LAIR-uh-tee\, _noun_:

Rapidity of motion or action; quickness; swiftness.

"Hey… Tifa, what happened to Denzel's face?"

"…Him and a kid at school got in a fight."

"Who won?"

"The kid."

"Hmm. You know what the fight was about?"

"Kid said something about us and Denzel got angry. Did you get the groceries, Yuffie?"

"Yeah, but I forgot the eggs… guess I'll have to go buy some more… ta ta for now!"

_**Celerity.**_

"You egged his house?"

"Yup."

"So you really are a ninja?"

"Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk. Kiddo, I've been telling you that from the start. About time you pulled that head of yours outta your bum."

"Thought, I think you over did it."

"yeah?"

"Yeah, he came to school crying, and he still had eggs in his hair."

"Eh, I might have gone around for a second barrage, you know?"

"He two black eyes also."

"What can I say… I'm a beast."

"I thought you were a ninja."

"Denzel, this is why I never talk to you."

_**Celerity.**_


	7. Prevaricator

**pre·var·i·ca·tor**

–_noun_

a person who speaks falsely; liar.

a person who speaks so as to avoid the precise truth; quibbler; equivocator.

"Hey Kid! What was with the thumb story, Vince didn't buy it."

"Duh, it was from my video game."

"…What?"

"You said you wanted a scenario, I gave you one. Now go away I'm trying to watch this."

"Hey Denzel, who exactly helped you when that kid beat you up?"

"…You threw eggs and beat him up, but Cloud went and talked to his mom and got him grounded."

"Cloud?"

"Yeah, He was even kind enough to apologize for you."

"Cloud… WAIT! Cloud hasn't been here since you got beat up! You prevaricator!"

"What…"

"…Oh right you're just a little kid. Well it's a synonym of liar."

"…Can you, like, go away?"

"Can you, like, not say like, like a freaking teenager? How old are you? Eight?"

"I'm eleven."

"Still not a teenager."

"Well you aren't either…"

"Oh my god, he's right, I'm twenty… Oh sweet leviathan! I'm so old!"

"Aren't you supposed to get a mid-life crisis in your forties?"

"Denzel, shut up and watch your stupid Barney."

"It's not Barney, it's the wiggles."

"Dotdotdot."

"That's sarcasm."

"That's what's going to get you an atomic wedgie."

"You wouldn't."

"You said that about the tying you to a chair also, or do you not remember?"


	8. Advertent

Advertent

Adj.

_Attentive; Heedful_

_A/N: Cloud's middle name is not canon, as in non-official, I MADE it up._

"It's quiet… too quiet. Tifa, where's Yuffie?"

"Now that you mention it… I haven't seen her in a good four hours. Cloud, you don't think-"

"She drank some toilet cleaner thinking it was kool-aid? Probably."

"Cloud! I'm serious. What if she's hurt?"

"…"

"I'm calling Ci-."

"No, let's just enjoy the quiet… Me, you and-"

"Cloud Stratus Strife, what exactly are you suggesting? That I conduct a little affair with you and let us have our own little moment of nostalgia, while Yuffie might be dying out there. I'd never forgive myself, or you for that matter. And what do you think Vincent would do?"

"Uh… My middle name's Jacen…"

"And I would have known that if you didn't run and hide from me when we were kids, and actually let me get to know you."

"… heh… Let's find that damn ninja then."

"Advertent one, aren't we."

"Well we better start looking. I'll stop by the local materia store."

"Don't bother, already checked there."

"Larry's Corner store?"

"Checked there, too."

"Upstairs with the kids?"

"Yup."

"Vincent's?"

"Yup."

"I'll call Cid."

"I'll call Vincent."

"You didn't tell him yet?" He asked?

"Would you like to tell you, I was missing?"

"Touché."


	9. Quiescent

**Quiescent** \kwy-ES-uhnt; kwee-\, _adjective_:

Being in a state of repose; at rest; still; inactive.

"Are you just going to lie there all day?"

"Yes."

"Hey, Yuff, I know it's been a long couple of days, but we have customers, and this is your job. Either get to work or you're fired."

"Tifa, have you ever been kidnapped, fight a drag queen nunchuks champion and almost be married to a sociopath to be saved at the last minute by a vampire who was dressed as a priest?! I didn't think so. So shut it."

"So you're just going to lie in my bar all day? Maybe I should call Shelke to fill in for you…"

"I'm up!"

"Good, why don't you go and stand behind the bar and pretend that you're doing something like you usually do."

"I'll have you know, I do a lot around here. If it wasn't for me, half the men in this bar right now wouldn't be here."

"We're here because we like the booze!"

"I guess I should just go behind the bar then…"

"Yeah, that'd be a good idea, Yuffie."

"Don't mind me, quiescent Yuffie…"

"Hah, well they might all not come in here for you, but I bet that fellow in the corner does…"

"Hey plank!"

"Yuck, it's Turkey…"


End file.
